Did you hear that whooshing noise earlier today? That was the sound of my ego, deflating faster than the Heene balloon.
My K99 application came back unscored. I don't want to whine about it too much because I know this is something that happens to many people, even people who go on to be (or are) successful scientists, but frankly, I feel like I've been slapped in the face.
I'm embarrassed, indignant, and sad. I don't feel sorry for myself, but I'm frustrated that I so severely misjudged how strong my application was. As I wrote about previously, I thought I was pretty hot stuff, and it's scary to think I may be far from it.
I've never been one for wallowing, though--it's ugly and unproductive. I contacted my Program Officer and there's nothing I can do but wait for my summary statement, which will hopefully give me some insight into the reviewers' major issues. Until then, I've just got to keep doing what I was doing before this grant was something that mattered--getting my work done and applying for jobs. Tonight I'll be bummed, but J's making tacos and the Yankees are winning, so I suppose life isn't all bad.
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